So here is the scoop. I was having some problems in my school because its not like in america where students love exchange students, its the normal here. So people just accepted me, but didnt care to know about me, which was odd. So the lack of being able to speak to people other than a handful every now and than, took its toll on my german skills. I enjoyed volleyball so much that I expected all the other students to be the same, but in reality its not that way. So finally I just gave up trying instead of being in the social circle and being ignored I just didnt even join the circle, and instead of talking to people just getting a one word answer, I just didnt ask any questions anymore. The classes were not better, because the teachers expected me to be at the same level as everyone else, and I wasnt. My english teacher was always out to prove that I dont know everything in english, and that just because I speak american english it doesnt mean that I know britian english which is what they learn, so she was always out to prove me wrong in everything, she had me read once in the class and said she was going to stop me everytime I made a mistake... it was not to much fun. So I gave up on school too, and one day I decided to simply not go to school, it was not the smartest choice on my part because by tryign to avoid my problems I was creating more. So than I wanted to switch schools so I could be with the kids in my volleyball team, and I went to talk to my couselor about it, but I made a mistake and wrote the president. So the president thought my coulselors were not helping me so he wrote them upset, and than they were upset, and called my school and my host parents wondering why I didnt write them, and they found out I ditched school. So all of a sudden I went from a little problem to a HUGE problem. So I wrote both couselors explaining everythign and said I meant to write my couselor dr. wurtz, but accidently wrote the president dr. wirtz.. now you can see how i messed those two up. I explained that I would try harder in school, and I am sorry for the problems I caused.
So today I went to school, and the principal took me out of class and said that my couselor had called him and told him I was having problems, and he said I should come to him if im having problems. Than he told me that he was putting me in the lower grade, and said the classes would be easier. He also told me I would stay in the same classroom with the same people all day and that it will be easier for me to learn names, and such.
So I walk to the room, it was like coming to that school on the first day, how I was so worried about what everyone would think of me. I get into the classroom the teacher introduces me, like what happend the first day of school, I introduced myself, like i did on the first day, and than the teacher asked if anyone had any questions for me, unlike the first day people actually raised their hands, and for the first time I was able to talk about school, my family, and everything. During the pause girls came up to me and asked how high school is like in america, and what are my friends like, and how long I have learned german. All of them said wow when i told them I never learned german before I came. They all said that they could never do it, and than explained that I can speak it really well for not having it before. It made me feel so much better about what I have accomplished, and than they invited me to come with them during the breaks, which normally were the things I avoided because I never had a circle to go into. Its strange to say that finally I got my first day of school that I wanted, once again a situation that could of turned out so badly, turned out to be the best. So even though I went Down a Grade, I feel I UpGraded to a class that cared that I was there. Some times you got to DownGrade to UpGrade in life... another lesson learned.
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4 comments:
Hannah, I am so happy that you found the solution and our prayers were answered in an most amazing way.
It's hard to have a free mind in school where you're required to learn a curriculum of the current canon of thought (as you should in high school and below) which of course will change every so many years.
And as you learn that this is this and that is that (naming the world, as Adam did) it carries with it a concept that everything has a very particular place. Thus in high school when you recognize one of the first real social orders, you are quite bound by your own perspective of where you fit into that social structure, as well as where current residents allow you to be.
I do hope that as you get older, smarter, wiser, more confident, that an established social order and structure will not inhibit the person that you are. You'll find the world has a lot more to offer a real person then a person so shaped by everyone else.
For now it is unfortunately inescapable (though not wholly so) for you and I am glad that you've found some happiness and relief within it. Just know that there is much more to come and if you see it then you'll have many more moments where you dress like a boy on Halloween and have a tremendously fun time.
A few close friends is way better than being around a bunch of acquaintances. So it sounds like you have that with your volleyball crew. I'm glad that you feel more comfortable in this other class. It might just be a different mix of kids rather than the fact that they are younger. Sometimes one of my classes is just icky and then another class is wonderful.
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