Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Flip-Side

I am taking a break from writing about all the differences I have observed here because
to tell you the truth there are just so many of them to write about.  I would like to take
sometime to mention though the flip side of being here.  No not the flip side as in all the
bad things, i mean like the other side of the pillow.  My life in Ogallala is still going, even though I am not there to expierence it. 
 Its like I have turned the pillow over and now I am expericening something new, 
while the other side is stil there.  People that I have known for a long time I have lost
 contact with, and the people I least expect to hear from I am now talking to.   I am the 
same person but I have a totally different outlook on things.  The funny thing about 
turning the pillow over is that you are actually more comfortable when you do.  Thats 
how it is for me right now, I have now been here for almost a month and I feel like this 
is my life for well the rest of my life.  Its almost like I like who I am here, more than
 I like the person who lived in Ogallala.  The things that made me happy there do not
 make me happy here, and you really find out who your friends are when you are away
 from them.  Also even in my own family I have noticed a change, people I did not expect
 to get involved or be a part of my experience are now wanting to hear from me everyday
...... and I love it.    Its funny because I hear stories from my family or friends and its almost
like I was there, but I wasnt.  I live two lives now and even though I am the same person the lives are completly 
different, and not just because I am in a different country either.  I was talking to an 
exchange student the other day who said that they missed Nebraska and wanted to go 
back, and I asked them how it was when they got home and they said it was weird.  
The life they knew and was normal to them before was now like a new country just like
 how I felt when I first came here, but they learned to love and appreciate where they 
stayed on their exchange so much that it became a part of them.  I grew up in America so 
It was always a part of me but being here in Germany is exciting, I do now know everything 
here so it makes more motivated to get out and explore new things.  I go out of my box and
 try things I have never done, and I learn things that I never wanted to learn.  My life is 
completly on the Flip-side.  I know most of you are thinking I can say this now because I have only been
 here for almost a month so of course everything is exciting, but I honestly do not
 think it will ever not be exciting for me.  Even though I am not fluent in the language 
I have never been more determined in my life to do something with myself.  No one has
 ever asked me to do anything I never wanted to do, but its weird now that I am doing 
the things that I dont like to do without even being told.  I think the thing that has most
 changed about me is how I was never really a shy person.  In my town I never really
 talked to alot of people, not because I was shy but because I was never outgoing to 
talk to people.  I have to be outgoing here though whether I want to be or not,  
I introuduce myself to people that I dont know, or to people whose names I cant 
pronounce.  I forget alot of their names after the introduction but it gives me a 
feeling of accomplishement.  Or when I actually get something in school here, or 
I learn a new word in german and I use it in a sentance it gives me one of the greatest
 feelings of accomplishemnt.  Sometimes I even forget that my life is going on and that
 I am moving ahead of so many people.  The other day I was talking to one of my 
sisters and I started to put german words in my sentances not thinking that I was the
 only one that could understand it in the convorsation.  Not saying sarah is not smart
 by any means but I am saying that I am living something that not alot of people can 
live " a New Life" .  I think I can get use to the cool side of the pillow, because to tell 
all of you the truth things are much better on the Flip-Side

4 comments:

Holly said...

Funny how you had to go to a different country for the real you to just come right out. I'm sure you're getting enough confidence from being a world traveler to come back to the states and live the same way.

p.s. Sounds like it's going to work out for me to visit you!

Sheri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sheri said...

I just love to read your blogs and see how you are growing as a young woman! It's neat that you are able to just step back from your life here in the United States and all that you have been through. You have the incredibly powerful and amazing opportunity to find Hannah!! I know I tell you this a thousand times over Hannah, but you continue to amaze me how you have grown and I'm forever proud of the woman that you are becoming!! Love, Hugs and We All Miss You!! - Sheri

LOL!! Sorry I deleted the first post but I had a typo and didn't know had to edit!! lol

Ray said...

Hannah, It is so nice that you are experiencing your entire environment. I always said, "When you go back to where you were born, it just feels so natural". I believe that even though you were born there and only stayed a few months. It is like everything is familiar now, the sounds, the carbonated water, food, ect. I to believe it is refreshing to be there for you and to feel like you just fit. I am so happy for you and will continue to pray for you. I love and miss you much!!
Dad
P.S
Love your writing style. Keep on expressing yourself with your words